I thought it was time to write a Yogesh update myself – maybe my one update, before I selfishly focus on resting and spending time with family, but also in the event that things progress or I feel the effects of treatment.
I started radiation yesterday, and will start oral chemo with Temodar soon. We moved up radiation because I’m feeling weaker. I can still shower and walk to the bathroom. Please don’t shy from saying hi during my daily trips to Smilow, where my real goal is to force my parents to sample my favorite food carts – at least those open after I’m finished with radiation around 10am or so. It may be harder to meet in person in the afternoon now, though I still love visitors. I get sleepy and like frequent afternoon naps, so things may be more brief. Please know that I really have everything I need, but my family does love the thought and care and goodies people bring by if they choose. The dexamethasone helps me sample most everything.
A few days after I was hospitalized, Dr. Siegel told me in jest ‘Yogesh, now you have the ultimate excuse to say and do whatever you want!” The possibilities made me laugh, but I also quickly realized everyone suddenly listened to what I had to say. I asked someone for nicer tissues one day, and I got what seemed to be a Costco-sized pack of lotion-scented-tissues in 5 minutes sent to my room.
But in the spirit of saying and doing what I want, I thought I’d quote a note Dr. Duffy sent to me shortly after my diagnosis, without his permission: “Dear Yogesh, It is with great sadness that I have learned of your illness which has deeply touched and wounded the entire community. Your “flock” moves with bended knees…”
I think we all knew our Yale flock was formidable. Being on the receiving end of this mighty force has been incredible, but I imagine and hope you all have appreciated our ferocious strength during this time as well. My dad, when he first saw me said he was ready to take me back West within 10 minutes of our meeting. New Haven was simply far from my West Coast centric family. I think it took less than a day for him to realize that being in New Haven and Yale is our home. The thought of going anywhere else now seems preposterous.
People speak of resilience and courage, but that is inherent to our flock. For example, the headband themes and other parties we had in the hospital, I often learned about after the plans were in motion, but would wholeheartedly endorse them with more than a smile. They were the absolute perfect way to face this with you all, and expose this experience for the dream that it is. So thank you, for sharing your resilience with me.
Please fly with knees stretched far. I appreciate the well-wishes, kindness, and I’m really buoyed by all of you. I honestly feel peaceful and plan on trudging through wherever this will take me, knowing I have all of you to rest upon when I need.