Earlier on, there were mornings I’d wake up and forget this is happening. That happens less now, almost never. I’ve accepted the sonic boom, though my left sided weakness is a quick reminder.
There are events and atrocities that I’m sure have halted us all in our tracks, over and over again. I was told point-blank my diagnosis by the radiologist who came out to see me in the Smilow MRI suite as I was meant to change back into my regular clothes post-scan. It was the moment the sonic boom hit. To say I’ll never forget that moment doesn’t make sense, it was moment I became the boom.
With everyone around me in the ensuing days, despite fake-neck tattoos in solidarity of my planned biopsy, I was alone. In the uniqueness of the experience, no one knew my reality. But what was more unique, was being gracefully on the receiving end, of life’s work and passion. A tree branch being visited by birds with no agenda other than to share what comes natural. Under the care of my neurosurgeon, radiation oncologist and neuro-oncologist, I effortlessly receive and now know.
As for an update, I started up radiation again today after a weekend off and continue to chug along with daily chemo. Besides lethargy and left sided weakness, I am lucky to have nothing else to say. Though I know something is happening.